Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 13: Why can't I stop crying??

Last night I got *maybe* 3 hours of (interrupted) sleep. In an effort to only feed Nolan from a bottle once per day (to avoid any "nipple confusion"), I would have Francis feed Nolan the first late-night feeding via bottle, then the rest of the night feedings would be normal breastfeeding.

However, when I tried breastfeeding him later that night (around 3:30am), Nolan didn't want any part of the boob! It took me almost 2 hours to get him to latch and feed. By the time I had fed him, and tried to get back to sleep, he was hungry again. And again, I had real difficulties getting him to latch and feed. As I fed him, I just couldn't stop crying. When would this ever get easier??!! Shouldn't this breastfeeding thing be a cinch by now???

Given my complete exhaustion + crazy postpartum hormones, I could not stop crying that entire day. You could ask me anything, and the tears would just gush down my cheeks. What a mess I am!

What I can't figure out: Francis & I seem to be pretty stable people; how is all this so overwhelming for us, yet 16-year-old teenagers somehow are able to pop and babies and handle all this?? What is wrong with us? Why is this so hard??
Please tell me it gets easier? It must, right? Or else no one would have more than 1 child, right?? PLEASE tell me this gets easier!


  1. You are so right! It does get better and with time you forget about these "challenging" nights. I think it is natures way of allowing us to have more than one kid. :)

  2. Jenn is right - you will absolutely forget all of these rough nights - even though right now you're thinking HOW COULD I POSSIBLY FORGET. ;-) Definitely nature's way of ensuring you'll have more kids (similar to nature's way of making you forget how tough childbirth can be).

    It *does* get easier, but it takes A LOT of time and patience. Not every baby is sleeping through the night immediately. Lord knows ours didn't!! Logan wasn't sleeping consistently through the night until he was one year old (sorry to say), and Callum is still waking up once a night right now and he's 7 months old. I've just accepted the fact that I apparently raise babies who can't sleep very soundly for a long long time. It was ridiculously frustrating and exhausting, but so worth it in the end. :)

    Good luck Mama - you are doing ALL the right things. Just keep at it - one day (or night) at a time.