Crazy Birthdayversary!

December 20th, 2010 marked (1) Francis & my 1st anniversary, (2) my 32nd birthday, and (3) Francis' 31st birthday. And, you ask, what kind of crazy, romantic fun did we have that night?! We had dinner with my family....we are wild and crazy folks!
Francis and I originally planned to do a big dinner with a bunch of our close friends, but then as the time got closer I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with being committed to any big event + taking on a newborn's needs. So a nice simple/relaxing dinner at Frankie, Johnny & Luigi's is just what we needed.
Here's a pic from that night. Not surprisingly, this photo took 10 minutes to take since it included a 3 year old, 1 year old, and 7 week old :)

(Jarrod, Jenn, Robert, Francis, me, Nolan, mom/nana, Connor)

6 weeks...Growth Spurt!

Last night, Nolan was up almost every 2 hours, hungry as ever. Then, during the day, he was feeding almost every hour!
Then I check my email and see "Your baby at 6 weeks" email from BabyCenter. Apparently, 6-weeks is another growth spurt; one of the tell-tale signs is constant feedings. It all makes sense now.
Nolan is all about punctuality - he was born on his due date, and now he has started his growth spurt EXACTLY on his 6-week mark!

Smiling!!

Houston, we have a smile!! Unfortunately, I was not the first one to see it. I spend almost every of the day with Nolan, and I somehow missed his first smile?!
My mom came over to visit, so I took advantage of the time to take a shower. During that 15 minute break, I missed his smile! I came downstairs to my mom laughing and smiling at Nolan, saying "he has the most adorable smile!" I exclaimed, "What, he smiled??!! I missed it?" My mom had not even realized that *I* had not even seen his smile yet; I think she felt bad for stealing my thunder.
He was smirking at me that morning....but I missed his first smile. Fortunately, I was able to see it just hours later! CUTEST THING EVER! There is nothing in the world that can make you feel as incredible as seeing your baby's smile!

Sleep chuckles

Nolan has not started laughing while awake, but (oddly) he has laughed in his sleep!
It is really the funniest thing - he was in a deep slumber, then he just started chuckling. Like a real, bottom-of-the-belly chuckle! No song and dance I do is funny enough for him, but apparently there is some funny shiznit in his dreams :)

Coos & Smirks

Nolan has just recently started with cooing and smirking at us. His adorable coos are just generally "ohhhh" and "ahhhh" sounds, but we did get a little "da" sound too! The kid is a genius! He's already is speaking in foreign languages ("da" is yes in Russian, right?!)

And his little smirks just light me up. He is almost the smiling point - it's not quite a full, gummy smile yet, but I know it's coming soon!!! The smirks definitely make up for my severely reduced sleep schedule. When you are dragging through the morning, then your son smirks and coo at you while you change his diaper, it almost makes you forget your need for sleep. It's all worth it now :)

Great night!

Last night was a really good night, sleep-wise! Nolan did his 8:30pm feeding, then Francis bottle-fed him at 12:00 am, then I fed him at 4:30am. Then he continued to sleep until 8:00am.
But those aren't that significant, in itself. It is that 1) after each feeding, we put him right into his crib and he didn't cry *at all* and 2) he went right back to sleep after his 4:30 am feeding. It felt amazing!

Normally, we have to spend a significant amount of time trying to put him to sleep in our arms before we can put him in the crib. That really takes away from valuable rest time! And, on top of that, he usually does not to to sleep for quite a while after his 4:30 am feeding.

God I really hope he keeps this up! Well, actually, I am hoping for him to sleep through the night really soon...but I will take this small win for now!

My first Christmas card!

This year I decided to send Christmas cards out. Why is that important you ask? Because I have never sent a Christmas card out in my life! But seeing as how I am married with a kid now, I felt that I have finally entered the "christmas card world".
The card is really quite cute, I would have to say :) It has three pics - two of my adorable son, and one of all 3 of us. Then inside this ornament shape, it says: The Smiths. Francis, Marissa and Nolan.
Wow, I am so grown up!

Thanksgiving dinner...missing my dad

Holidays still are pretty difficult for me since my dad passed. Even having my grandmother sit at the head of the table (which was always my dad's spot) REALLY made me upset. Grandmere even called it "her" spot at one point - that almost set me off.

Holidays now miss much of the fun they used to have. My dad had such a great sense of humor, so there was always so much laughter at the dinner table when he was here. I remember everyone eating and talking at the table for HOURS - my dad driving so much of the hilarious conversation. But now it seems we finish our Thanksgiving dinner within an 1/2 hour of sitting down. Hours of food preparation, then we seem to be shoving food down our necks and quickly cleaning up. I really wish we had those long, relaxing, and laughter-filled dinners back....I wish I had my dad back.

It was Nolan's 1st Thanksgiving. We'll have to try to bring back some the excitement the holidays used to have - I want Nolan to experience the incredible times I was able to experience. He, Robert, and Connor deserve that kind of incredible family experience.

I am truly thankful, however, that I have such an amazing, close-knit family. I am incredibly close to my mom, Jarrod, Jenn, and my nephews. Based on conversations with friends, it seems that that closeness is truly rare.
So what I'm thankful for this year: an amazing husband (our 1st thanksgiving as a married couple), the most adorable and amazing son, and an amazingly close-knit, supportive family.

Here are some pics of that day:

Happy Thanksgiving!

I truly feel thankful (and extremely LUCKY, as expressed on Nolan's shirt) this Thanksgiving.

I have incredible family and friends, and a beautiful baby boy! It will be so exciting to spend my first Thanksgiving with Nolan!

What a happy Thanksgiving!

Getting better every day

I really hope that I don't jinx myself by saying this (knocking on wood!), but I would have to say that things are getting better every day!

As Francis and I are learning how to coordinate feedings at night and better understand Nolan's schedule, we are finally feeling a bit more sane. I would still have to say that it can be incredibly difficult waking up at 2am and 4am to feed the little guy, but my body is starting to figure out how to operate on the broken up rest. My hardest time of the day: the period after his ~4am feeding. He really does not want to go to bed for HOURS after that feeding, which means I'm often up from 4am onward! That's why my 9am bedtime curfew is crucial!!

I still find it almost impossible during the day to get anything done outside of breastfeeding and changing diapers, but I am really hopeful that Nolan will be on a more regular feeding schedule within the next couple months. As of right now, he sometimes eats within 20 minutes of the last feeding; then other times will wait at least a couple hours. But I keep reading (and I'm staying hopeful) that his feedings will become more regular as he gets a bit bigger.

Breastfeeding is also become easier - he is latching much faster lately, and I have been experimenting with different techniques. I think I'm going to try the "laying down" position (where I am in a basic side-lying position) in the next couple feedings to see if maybe I can try to feed Nolan while still laying in bed. That would be AWESOME if Nolan took to it - maybe I could breastfeed him while half asleep in my cozy bed. *sigh*

1 Gallon of breastmilk frozen!

As of today, I have ~1 gallon of frozen breast milk! Well, technically I have 126 oz (not 128 oz), but close enough! I thought that a gallon would be next to impossible after only ~3 weeks, but apparently not. I am able to pump ~2 oz of milk after feeding Nolan, or 2-3 oz if I have not just breastfed. I thought I was not making enough milk (I felt deficient after hearing some freaks of nature *cough, Jenn* were able to pump 10 oz), but the lactation consultant said that 2-3 oz is the normal range.

I have been pumping a couple times during the day after a feeding + 1 pump during the night (the night pump is to replace 1 breastfeeding, as Francis takes 1 feeding during the night so that I can get a bit more rest. It's 10 minutes of pumping vs. sometimes an hour to breastfeed - that time is crucial to my sanity!)

I think I will start to chill out on my pumping, however, as one of the lactation consultants recommended that I not try to build up reserves until ~8-9 weeks before starting back to work. Plus, it will help my breast milk supply better match Nolan's needs and avoid engorgement.

I never thought I would be excited by such an odd milestone, but I guess things change once you have a kid!!

Strong boy!

I have been so impressed how well Nolan can hold up his head! From the day he was born, he has been holding up his head and looking around. He is such a curious little guy - always looking around with bright, wide eyes at this weird world around him. And the looks on his face are just hilarious as he does it - sometimes his eyes go really wide and he purses his lips into a little "o" formation, almost as if to express his amazement of the oddity he's staring at. Too cute!

At 3 weeks now, he can hold up his head for at least a minute before it wobbles back to your shoulder. Maybe I'm just a cheesy, proud mama, but I find it impressive :)

Visit with the lactation consultant

Today I went to see a lactation consultant at El Camino Hospital. Nolan is getting better at latching each day, but I thought it would be helpful to see a lactation consultant in order to find techniques to get Nolan to latch faster. Sometimes Nolan will latch on with no difficulty...other times, he takes numerous tries to get him on. This can be especially difficult (and most common) during his midnight feedings!

I saw a lactation consulting nurse named Elaine O'Neill, who was pretty helpful. Of course, Nolan latched on immediately with no issues when we were there (figures!), and she seemed to think that overall the technique was good. But then why am I still having some difficulties???

Elaine said that it can take 4-6 weeks for some babies to get efficient at latching, so that may be the issue - but I am hopeful that it will get better in the coming weeks! She also showed me other positions/techniques to try, such as the "upright football hold" (side hold where the baby is sitting upright) and "belly to belly"(where the baby is laying on your stomach, and should generally crawl themselves to the boob).

I addition, she gave me helpful information about feeding/pumping in general. At $156/hour (luckily paid by insurance), I really hope I see some significant improvement soon!

Maybe I spoke too soon...

So maybe I spoke too soon with the whole "sleep" post.
Today I am so completely exhausted! Nolan barely slept at all last night - we filled his tummy with tons of milk, which generally works to knock him out for a few hours...but not last night! He was WIDE AWAKE most of the night!

Francis was getting so frustrated, and I just felt my tears starting to well up from exhaustion.
What are you supposed to do? Should I continually wake Nolan up during the day in order to get him to sleep at night? It seems a bit cruel, but maybe that's what we need to do.

The problem with parenting in the "google age" is that all your parenting questions can be easily googled, however you end up with 2 billion answers to your parenting questions. Which one is right?? Just 10 years ago, you ask you pediatrician all your questions, and you can really rely on that. But with google so accessible, you can't help but to go to the internet for your parenting queries! You end up more confused with way too many answers :(

Day 14: Sleep!

After crying to Jenn's mom (Bev), she helped assure me that we need to try whatever technique get's us some sleep. If that meant just bottle feeding at night, we needed to do that.

So that night, Francis took the first late night feeding (around 1 am), while I pumped, then went back to bed. I took the 2nd late night feeding (around 4:30am) using a bottle again, then pumped.
It seems that when Nolan is super hungry, especially after a long stretch of sleep, he is so desperate for milk, that getting him to latch can be EXTREMELY difficult. So just bottle feeding in the middle of the night seems to work best.

So this night, I got two sleep chunks of 3 hours + around 2 hours in the morning. God it feels good to have some sleep!! I have not shed one tear today! What a difference a little sleep makes!!

I think we'll try this technique again tonight! Cheers to my little man, Nolan, for being a sleep champ!!

Nolan's 2nd (2 week) doctor appointment

So Nolan had his 2 week doctor appointment today. He is continuing to gain good weight and is doing very well (knock on wood!)

Here's his stats:

• Weight: 7 lbs 11 oz (22 percentile). Up 11 oz from last week, and up 8 oz from his birth weight! I was a bit concerned that he was a bit light (only being at the 22 percentile), but Dr. Fazilat reassured me he's doing well because he was born at around the 22 percentile, so he is growing at steady rate. Right where they would like him to be!
  
• Head circumference: 35 cm (15 percentile)
• Height: 21 inches long (50-75 percentile)
  

Day 13: Why can't I stop crying??

Last night I got *maybe* 3 hours of (interrupted) sleep. In an effort to only feed Nolan from a bottle once per day (to avoid any "nipple confusion"), I would have Francis feed Nolan the first late-night feeding via bottle, then the rest of the night feedings would be normal breastfeeding.

However, when I tried breastfeeding him later that night (around 3:30am), Nolan didn't want any part of the boob! It took me almost 2 hours to get him to latch and feed. By the time I had fed him, and tried to get back to sleep, he was hungry again. And again, I had real difficulties getting him to latch and feed. As I fed him, I just couldn't stop crying. When would this ever get easier??!! Shouldn't this breastfeeding thing be a cinch by now???

Given my complete exhaustion + crazy postpartum hormones, I could not stop crying that entire day. You could ask me anything, and the tears would just gush down my cheeks. What a mess I am!

What I can't figure out: Francis & I seem to be pretty stable people; how is all this so overwhelming for us, yet 16-year-old teenagers somehow are able to pop and babies and handle all this?? What is wrong with us? Why is this so hard??
Please tell me it gets easier? It must, right? Or else no one would have more than 1 child, right?? PLEASE tell me this gets easier!

Day 7: Nolan's 1st doctor appointment

Today was Nolan's first doctor appointment. This would be our FIRST day out of the house since we brought Nolan home, and that coupled with our lack of sleep, it was a frantic morning.
We needed to get Nolan fed, get ourselves showered, quickly eat some sort of breakfast, feed Nolan again, pack up his diaper bag, and then pack ourselves into the car. Getting out of the house in the morning has never been this hard and required so much preparation/coordination!

We had our list of questions ready for Dr. Fazilat, who didn't seem fazed at all by my list of paranoid new parent questions. Nolan then got weighed and checked out.
By day 7, Nolan was almost back at his birth weight (of 7 lbs 3 oz), and Dr. Fazilat expected him to be back at his birth weight by the next day. Since the goal is to have a baby back at their birth weight by 2 weeks, I was ecstatic that he would be there by around day 8! Yay for my little eater!!!!

After the appointment, Francis & I were ambitious enough to go out for lunch. We headed over to Panera Bread for some delicious sandwiches. Wow, it felt GREAT to be out again - sunshine felt so good!!

Day 5: Nolan slept 4 hours straight!!!

I have never been so thrilled with 4 hours of sleep!! But last night, Nolan slept for 4 hours straight!
I almost feel like a new woman!

Francis put Nolan in his crib that night, which I didn't think I could handle. So far, we have kept in him in our bed (my paranoia generally requires me to check him several times a night to make sure he's breathing, so having him in the bed makes it a bit easier). But having him in his crib that night really helped us get just that bit of sleep we both really needed.

Sleeping like a champ! So proud of my little man!

Happy Halloween!!

Here's an adorable pic of my nephews, Robert & Connor, on Halloween. Could they be any cuter??
Robert picked out his costume this year - he wanted to be a "scary skeleton". Connor got to wear Robert's hand-me-down Yoda costume (sorry Connor, that's what happens being the younger sibling)! I think Nolan will have to borrow that Yoda costume next year!

Day 3: First night home with Nolan

I think one of the most difficult experiences of my life occurred the first night we brought home Nolan from the hospital.
I thought I knew how to handle babies pretty well - I've always been around kids and I have spent a LOT of time with my nephews, Robert and Connor. But the first night Francis & I brought home Nolan, I realized how little I knew about handling a newborn and how unprepared we really were.
At the hospital, there were nurses there every moment of the day to help when you're having any troubles. But once you're home - you're all on your own! Oh, dear god, what did we get ourselves into??
Nolan cried non-stop. We changed him, swaddled him, and I tried over and over to breastfeed him the colostrum. But he never seemed satisfied! At the hospital, the nurses kept assuring us these little drops of colostrum were all he needed, and that I was producing enough to satisfy him. But from his poor little cries, it sure did not seem like it! Nolan's cries seemed so desperate...and we had NO IDEA how to help him!
After hours and hours of trying everything to sooth him, we thought: maybe we just have to let him cry himself to sleep. We googled about getting babies to sleep, and read that you should try this technique of letting the baby cry in their crib for 5 minutes, then just touching and talking to him to comfort him...but *not* taking him out of the crib. Then if they continue to cry, go back after 10 minutes to comfort him. If they continue to cry, go back after 15 minutes....you get the point.
We tried this technique, but he just continued to cry! I kid you not: Nolan cried pretty much continuously the ENTIRE night.
Francis and I looked at each other by around 4am and said: oh god, what have we gotten ourselves into?! We felt so completely INADEQUATE! I cried almost that entire night myself - his cries seemed to rip my heart from my chest.

I can't thank my sister-in-law (Jenn) and her mom (Bev) enough! They came to the rescue the next morning!! I was completely hysterical when they came over - I couldn't get out 2 words without the tears flowing down my cheeks. Luckily they were both well acquainted with hysterical-tired-crazy-new-mom-syndrome! They helped show me some techniques of soothing Nolan and how to help Nolan better latch...but most of all, they helped assure me that everything I was going through was totally normal and I wasnt as crazy as I thought I was :)

Thank god my milk started coming that day. Despite all the difficulty I was having getting Nolan to latch, the little milk that did start coming seemed to satisfy him a bit, and he seemed much less frantic. I KNEW that my poor little man was just starving - all he needed was some milk! The nurses were wrong - the colostrum was NOT enough! My poor little guy was just starving!
At least I know for the future: give the baby some formula if he seems that hungry! Colostrum is not always enough!

So Francis & I made it through Day 3....what will come in these upcoming days?????!!!

Nolan Robert Smith has arrived!!

Our little man is finally here! It literally feels like just a couple months ago that we found out we were pregnant...and now there's a baby in our arms!!
On Tuesday, October 26th, I had my weekly doctor appointment with Dr. Raj. I read that a doctor can do a "cervical scratching", which can help get a full-term mom get labor moving.
Well, I think it worked because the next morning, around 8am, my water broke! I wasn't initially sure if my water broke because, while going pee that morning, it felt like a little extra "gush". I thought: "was that my water breaking?? Or just an extra gush of pee??"
Initially I thought that I was just imagining it, because I was so anxious to have this baby. I almost didn't even call the doctor. Luckily I did, and they set a 9:30am appointment for me.
By 10am, the doctor had confirmed that my water had definitely broken!! They sent me right down to labor & delivery!
I immediately thought: oh my god, I'm having a baby today! But i was wrong - the labor turned out to be a very long process! I was only dilated about 2 cm when they first admitted me (same as the day before, at my check-up appointment). By around 11am or 12pm, I started having contractions. After a few hours of contractions, I asked for my epidural. I then continued having contractions (pain-free contractions!) until around 6am the next day (10/28/10) when I finally reached 10 cm.
At that point, the nurses told me that I should have this baby within 1-2 hours of pushing. I then called my mom (who wanted to be in the room when i delivered), so that she an Francis could help deliver my son!
So I was pushing for around 3+ hours when the nurses said I should try coming off the epidural to possibly get my pushing stronger, as Nolan was having troubles getting past the pelvic wall. So I pushed for another hour without an epidural (where I cried out bloody murder until they gave me something to take off some of the "edge"), but still no progress. What happened to the 1-2 hours of pushing the nurses promised??? I wasn't sure I could continue at this! At this point, I was just crying from exhaustion/frustration....and freaked that they would have to perform a c-section after ALL THOSE HOURS of labor.
They said they could try the suction cup to help get the baby out. After giving me the risks associated with it, I cried for a while in fear of what damage I would do to my baby! I then decided I needed to try the suction cup to help get this baby out, otherwise I didnt know what would happen if we didnt get him moving at this point. He had been stuck in my birth canal for 4 hours!! I didnt have much choice at this point!
Once they got the suction cup clamped to my poor baby's head, he was out within about 5 minutes!
They pulled him out, and put him on my chest. I was so relieved/happy/excited/exhausted....that I just sobbed. He was finally here! Oh my god, he was finally here! Best feeling of my life!

So Nolan Robert Smith arrived on 10/28/10 at 11:35am. He weighed 7lbs 3oz, and 20.5 inches long.

37 weeks pregnant!!

I am officially full-term! Now this baby needs to make a move!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maternity Leave...FINALLY!!!

Today marks my first day on maternity leave! God it feels good!

I have been so stressed out trying to get the temp/contractor ready at work. In addition, I have been prepping my manager and director with all the areas that I cover, just in case my temp flakes out halfway through and bails on us (believe me, I have my suspicions!).
I spent several late nights thoroughly documenting how to perform my job, all while things are dramatically changing due to a new system integration at work. Trying to learn the system myself + training someone else on how to use it = UBER FRUSTRATING. Great timing, eh?

So the day has finally come! Now it's time to pamper myself a bit before our little man arrives! (yes, yes, I will complete my to-dos-before-baby-arrives checklist....in between my pamper sessions :)

Gotta jet - off to complete #1 on my checklist...pedicure! I can't have my feet looking jenky when they're straddled in stirrups during labor!

Baby Shower @ TiVo!!

I feel so incredibly fortunate! My TiVo team threw me a surprise baby shower today - delicious cake, tons of gift cards, AND adorable gifts. Baby Smith was absolutely lovin' it all!
T-minus 2 days until maternity leave!!!!

34 weeks pregnant!!

Maternity leave count-down!

T minus 22!
My last day of work before going on maternity leave is Sept 30th. Can I just tell you how giddy I am to check-out of this place for a while!

Making progress on the baby's room

It feels good to finally have all the furniture set-up in the baby's room (Francis, you're the bestest!). It's really starting to hit me that we have a BABY coming soon...we're going to be PARENTS....we're not going to get any SLEEP for the next few years!!!

Thanks to my awesome Mamasita for buying us the glider - muah!! There will be many, many late nights in that chair, I'm sure!
Here are a couple sneak peeks:

32 weeks pregnant!

Holy mother! I am 8 months pregnant! Seriously, this pregnancy is flying by....yet, his due date still seems so far away!
I am getting so anxious to meet my little man :)

Hiccups!

I definitely felt hiccups for the first time today! I thought I felt them a couple weeks ago, but it was only like 3 rhythmic bumps, so I wasn't exactly sure.
But today, I *definitely* felt hiccups!! They were these rhythmic bumps that occurred every 2 seconds or so, and lasted about 5 minutes. Francis even got to join in on the fun and feel our little guy bumping around.
So cool!!!!! I can sit for hours just feeling (and watching) my little man's movements in my belly :)

My little guys: Bug & Pooker!

Last weekend, Jarrod & Jenn had some family pics taken. Robert will be 3-years-old on August 11th (I know, crazy! I can't believe my little man is such...a little man!!) and Connor is almost 9 months.

These pics of Bug (Robert) & Pooker (Connor) just melt an Auntie's heart :)

28 weeks - I am a HOUSE!

Here's a pic my mom took, after commenting that I am now "huge". I am 28 weeks (7 months!) pregnant, and already a house! Not sure this body can make it the full 40 weeks!!!

27 weeks, 5 days

I am a couple days away from my 3rd trimester! Woohoo! In the last week-and-a-half, my stomach has made some serious growth (no exaggeration)! Even my mom commented (after not seeing me for 1 week) that I looked "really big" now...well, I *feel* huge.

On the upside: there is no mistaking that I am pregnant now. For the first 6.5 months of my pregnancy, people would look at me in curiosity - wondering if I was pregnant, or just putting on "honeymoon weight". Now people are coming up and asking me how far along I am - even strangers. I am so glad I don't look like I have a wine gut anymore - I truly look pregnant :)

Anyway, I had another ultrasound today (I am 27 weeks, 5 days), and the doctor said everything looks really good! My placenta is no longer "low lying", so no need to schedule a c-section + baby boy's stats look right on target! Weight: 2 lbs 9oz, Weight/Height: 53% percentile, and no abnormalities seen (knock on wood!). Here are a couple pics...kinda freaky looking...hopefully they look normal for 28 weeks :)

The 1st pic: his face (with a shadow over half of it). The 2nd pic: his face, with his hand rubbing his eye

26 weeks pregnant!!

Unbelievable, but I am 26 weeks pregnant today (2/3 of the way there)! The time has flown by, but it still feels SO FAR AWAY! Anyway, here's a couple belly pics (sorry about the neon white belly).

Yea, that's right....I'm a bakin' machine!

I was quite impressed with my baking skills, if I may say so myself!
I made this "4th of July Trifle" for Jenn & Jarrod's 4th of July BBQ, and it was actually quite tasty....and beautiful, as you can see :) Yay me! (Sorry for all the pats on the backs to myself, but this is a rare *successful* cooking occasion)

Oh, and HAPPY 4th OF JULY, EVERYONE!!!

23 weeks pregnant!!

I can't believe it, but I am 23 weeks pregnant! Next week I will be at my 6 month mark!!!!!
I am seriously counting down the days until my little man arrives (119 days, in case you doubted me!)

I *saw* him move!!

Tonight while laying in bed, my little guy was moving like crazy. And these weren't just nudges, it was like he was moving furniture in there!
So I lifted up my shirt and stared at my belly. And then, the craziest thing happened.... I saw this big BULGE raise from my abdomen (about the size of half kiwi)!! WTF! I think he just head-butted my uterus :)

Glad to see little man is having fun in there.

Francis felt a kick!

So for the past week and half or so, I've been not only feeling his kicks internally, but I've been able to feel him kick by simply placing my hand on my belly! I have been incredibly amazed by how powerful his kicks/movements have been. There have been some serious THUDS against my hand! What is the 10 inch creature doing in my belly?
This whole time, I would try to get Francis to feel little man's kicks, too. As soon as I would feel him moving, I would place Francis' hand on my belly. However, every time I did this, little man would stop moving! Is he shy, or is just messing with daddy?
But last night in bed, Francis got his chance. I felt some really large kicks, so I quickly put Francis' hand on my belly. We waited a minute or so and....woohoo! A nice little kick for daddy to feel!!

I felt a nudge!

I've been waiting and waiting to feel my little man move - to really make this pregnancy feel real. It's all been so surreal so far. Yes, I have what appears to be a beer gut. Yes, I know I've seen the little guy moving around and waving at me on an ultrasound. But, it still doesn't quite seem real until you feel this little creature moving around inside of you.
Around 18 weeks I thought I felt something, but wasn't exactly sure. It could have been some movement in my bowels, really. But at around 19 weeks, i felt a few unmistakable nudges!
People told me it would feel like butterflies - but it didn't feel like that at all for me. It just really felt like the lightest tap of finger on my abdomen, but from the inside.
What an incredible feeling - it all is starting to feel so real now. But what is really incredible about it: it's reassurance everyday that he's doing well in there. I really get a feeling of peace when I feel little man playing around in my uterus :)

18 Weeks Pregnant

It's a........BOY!!!

Today Francis, my mom, and I went to the doctor appointment that we've all been anxiously waiting for - the 18 week ultrasound. Yay, we will finally know the sex of our baby!!
We were so incredibly eager to find out the sex of our little monkey, that I even tried to get the appointment moved up a couple times (if you haven't figured it out yet, patience is not one of my many qualities :) I called the office a week or so before to see if they had any cancellations or openings...nothing. Then called again around 5 days before...nada. Dammit, we had to wait to our 5/20 appointment! I couldn't take it!
Finally the day arrived and I sat anxiously in the seat waiting for my ultrasound. The ultrasound tech moved the little wand around on my belly....a hand, good....abdomen, good.....leg, good....and OH MY GOD, I SAW A PENIS! I immediately squealed: I saw a penis! The ultrasound tech said: yup, you've definitely got a boy! So there it is - Francis and I are having a SON!
We are so excited for our little man to arrive! And I know that Robert and Connor will have a blast with our little man, as well!!!!

17 weeks - Boxing match with Baby?

For the past couple of days, my ribs are sooo sore - like someone has taken some really hard jabs at me! Taking deep breaths can be painful, and sleeping is obviously not the best, either.
What the hell?? I thought the uncomfortable pregnancy stage didn't start until your 3rd trimester. I am only 17 weeks today, and I am already experiencing this discomfort??

I went for my routine doctor appointment with Dr. Sahai - I told her about my sore ribs, and her response was: "well, it's only going to get worse". Apparently, my uterus is pushing my organs up into my chest. Awesome.
The upside: I got to hear my baby's heartbeat :) After I hear that little thump thump sound, all my worry and anxiety seem to subside. I'm elated!
Given that I tend to be a worrier, I am always freaked that something I did damaged the baby (i.e. waking up on my stomach...is that suffocating my baby?? My 6 month old nephew kicked me in the belly...is my baby still okay??) Hearing my baby's heartbeat is gives me a moment of peace - it's incredible!

Oh, and another cool thing: up until this point, my preggy belly barely showed. But within the past 3 days, it suddenly has made some real progress. Francis says I've "popped". Everyday after work, Francis hugs me; until now, he's only felt a slight difference in my belly. But in the last 3 days, he apparently can feel a noticeable difference. So we decided to take a profile picture of my belly - yup, I'm starting to look pregnant!

Now comes the countdown: 8 days until we find out the sex of the baby!! I am almost tempted to go to the 3D imaging center to get an early peek - I'm not sure I can wait 8 days!!

16 Weeks Pregnant

Here's a nice view of my belly at 16 weeks pregnant! A clear pooge there!

A baby is brewing!!!

It's official - there's a baby brewing!!! I just had my Nuchal Translucency screening today, which is a sonogram that helps assess the risk for downs syndrome and other genetic disorders. My risk is very low, so everything looks great!

Francis and I got to watch the baby move all around - he/she even appeared to wave at us a couple times...then did a back flip! We've got an energetic one on our hands...oy! :)

It finally feels real to me - seeing the baby on the screen which actually somewhat resembles a baby now, and seeing it move all around - WOW! There is a little one growing inside of me - it has finally really hit me!!!

Francis and I are ecstatic!